This Mother’s Day weekend, I kept finding my mind flittering back to our 20 week ultrasound with Lily, and the time before she was born. The ultrasound tech mentioned Lily’s long legs and pointed toes, and my husband made a comment like, “maybe she will be a ballerina!”
I remember seeing a look flutter across the woman’s face as she awkwardly said, “uh, yeah, maybe.” At that point, I thought her reaction was strange, but wrote it off as her being just a bit standoffish.
Fast forward a few hours, and her look made more sense as we sat across from a fetal care specialist, telling us that our baby girl had Spina Bifida.
Damage to the spine. She may not be able to move her legs. She may be paralyzed. A huge spectrum… none of which seemed to line up with her growing up to be a dancer.
That year, one of the popular designs for baby girl clothes and blankets was ballet shoes. We received a few things with this design for Lily, and each time I looked at them, I would think about the irony of my husband’s comment and the diagnosis we received a few hours later. Just looking at them made me uncomfortable, because I wasn’t sure if it was right to dress her in clothes that proudly proclaimed an activity she likely wouldn’t be able to participate in. I kept telling myself … it’s fine. You never know what she’ll be able to do until she shows us.
Well, this mother’s day weekend… she showed us.
She beamed at us from the stage, cloaked in sparkly purple and teal, tapping her feet, doing sashays like a champ, twirling and jumping with gusto and joy oozing out of her.
What a great reminder that I shouldn’t worry about the future when I don’t know what it holds.